EXT. HEAVEN'S GATE - CONTINUOUS
Mike and Jack walk together through the city.
MIKE
I'm glad you decided to come out.
He makes a face as he considers his words but shrugs it off.
JACK
You're cute when you beg, and
that's all I'm saying about it.
Mike smiles.
MIKE
So cute you'll forgive me for the
other night?
JACK
I don't know, Mike. This past guy
still--
MIKE
I know you're concerned about me
not being over him, but I am, man.
I promise.
Jack doesn't say anything. Mike sighs.
MIKE (CONT'D)
What will it take to convince you?
JACK
I don't know. Time?
MIKE
I can't control time.
(to himself)
Intentionally.
The pair continue walking, not really paying attention to
where they're going.
JACK
It's not something you can control.
It'll happen naturally.
MIKE
Yeah, but -- hold on a sec...
He's interrupted by his vibrating cell phone.
MIKE (CONT'D)
(answering phone)
Hi there.
He and Jack keep walking as Mike talks.
MIKE (CONT'D)
Yeah, Fletch, me and Jack are out
for a walk, so I don't think I'll
be able to get back right away.
FLETCHER (O.S.)
(over phone)
Okay, well, if you find yourself
passing by the park, try to keep
clear of it. The ghost we're
looking for is probably attracted
to couples. Some revenge thing.
MIKE
Yeah, I'll keep that in mind.
Mike hangs up and now notices where they are. He frowns.
MIKE (CONT'D)
Perfect.
He and Jack have wandered into the heart of the PARK.
BLACKOUT.
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
FADE IN:
EXT. HEAVEN'S GATE - CITY PARK - MID-MORNING
As before, Mike looking around, dismayed. Jack watches him,
confused.
JACK
Something wrong?
MIKE
No. No, not at all.
(beat)
Nope.
JACK
Good. Because we need to talk about
this Lon guy. Not around him, about
him.
MIKE
Jack... I can't. Fletcher called
me, I have to go back to the diner.
He looks around, nervous.
MIKE (CONT'D)
It's probably pretty important.
Jack ponders this for a beat.
JACK
You know what, Mike, don't worry
about it. I'll go.
MIKE
Jack--
JACK
You're obviously not ready for
another relationship.
MIKE
I am re--
JACK
It's probably better if we don't
see each other outside of class any
more. At least, not till you can
handle a being with another guy.
He turns and walks away. Mike opens his mouth to say
something, but can't think of any words. So he just watches
as Jack heads out of the park.
MIKE
(beat)
Perfect.
He runs his hands through his hair. Then, out of nowhere, he
SHIVERS. Realizes.
MIKE (CONT'D)
Yeah, this is gonna be the part
where the ghost attacks me.
He turns-- and the SPIRIT of Elizabeth Gerstmann, bedraggled
and wiry, floats just behind Mike.
MIKE (CONT'D)
Well, hello there.
The ghost SCREECHES, whacking Mike with her spectral hand. He
FLIES BACK, landing on his back in the grass.
From the ground, Mike launches a LIGHTNING BOLT at the
spirit. It forces her back, but doesn't do any real damage.
Mike pulls himself up, still firing away with the lightning
bolts. They're just as effective as always, which is to say,
not.
With a howl, the ghost PUSHES him forward via an invisible
force. Mike slides along the ground, digging his feet into
the turf. But the ghost is powerful, tapping into some hidden
energy source and blowing Mike away.
Mike falls flat on his stomach, groaning.
MIKE (CONT'D)
This isn't really a solo instance.
And right on cue, a HAND enters frame, pulling Mike up.
Fletcher, Tamsin, and Vi stand in the park, just a few yards
from the advancing, but now confused, ghost.
FLETCHER
This is the part in your American
films where the trumpets would blow
and the Mounted Division would
charge over the hill to kill the
native savages.
MIKE
We don't actually call them Mounted
Division, but thanks.
TAMSIN
(re: the ghost)
She doesn't move very fast, does
she?
MIKE
Trust me. She doesn't need to.
Fletcher regards Tamsin and Vi.
FLETCHER
Well.
VI
Well what?
FLETCHER
You're the ones who kill things. I
just name them.
VI
It's a ghost! What do you want me
to do? Punch her?
Fletcher shrugs. Vi rolls her eyes and charges the ghost. She
LAUNCHES herself into the air, swinging down in a kick --
which completely passes through the ghost. Vi crashes into
the ground and the ghost ignores her, continuing on to the
other three.
VI (CONT'D)
You have to imagine my complete and
total surprise.
FLETCHER
Mike, you wanna fry that thing?
MIKE
Tried that a couple times. It holds
her off, but past that, nothing.
TAMSIN
Any bright ideas from your part,
Captain Kangaroo?
FLETCHER
I could...
He draws out of his pocket a tiny bottle, much like the one
Frank used to store Praxx in from a previous episode.
FLETCHER (CONT'D)
It's a prototype of a more advanced
fairy bottle.
MIKE
What do you need?
FLETCHER
It'll take me a moment to get it
ready. Hold it still.
Mike nods, spreading his hands.
MIKE
Incarchium.
Green light spreads between his fingers and Mike THRUSTS his
hands forward, the light SHOOTS FORWARD, creating rings of
energy around the ghost. All seems good for a beat then the
ghost passes right through the rings.
Mike groans as the spirit advances.
TAMSIN
Oi! Elizabeth.
Hearing her name, the ghost pauses.
TAMSIN (CONT'D)
(soothingly)
I know you're upset, and rightly
so. You had a great injustice done
to you.
Fletcher fumbles with a small bottle. The ghost again begins
to advance.
TAMSIN (CONT'D)
But hurting others won't make it
better. Besides, your husband and
his little trollop got what was
coming to them.
The ghost again pauses. Fletcher continues to fiddle with the
bottle.
TAMSIN (CONT'D)
Even without a body, there was
enough evidence to put them away
for a very long time. I imagine
Paul is having a lovely time with
his cell-mate, Big Bubba.
The ghost ponders this for a beat and then begins to LAUGH.
Her laughter builds until she is almost doubled over, if a
ghost can be doubled over.
Meanwhile, Fletcher has opened the bottle. He passes his
hands around it in the mystical way. The top of the bottle
glows bright, slowly expanding as the light gets closer to
the ghost. Slowly, Elizabeth Gerstmann is sucked into the
bottle. She disappears in a fit of laughter. Fletcher corks
the end of the bottle.
Tamsin helps Vi up as Fletcher pockets the bottle.
TAMSIN (CONT'D)
Poor thing. I can't help but feel
sorry for her.
Vi brushes herself off.
VI
Yeah, well you're not the one
picking shrubbery out of your hair.
FLETCHER
(to Mike)
Didn't I tell you to stay out of
the park?
MIKE
Well, by then it was a too-little
too-late type thing.
VI
I'd like to make a note of this so
in the future when someone tells me
to punch a ghost, we can skip the
part where I crash into the ground
and get stains on my pretty
clothes.
MIKE
So where's Frank?
FLETCHER
I don't know. We called him in,
but...
(sighs)
No answer.
TAMSIN
I hope he's okay.
MIKE
He's Frank. He's always okay. What
could possibly hurt him?
VI
One time I saw him step on a tack.
(beat)
He cried.
Mike laughs as the four start to walk away.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S DINER - MID-AFTERNOON
Tyler sits at the diner counter, eating a snack. Frank
enters, rubbing the side of his head.
TYLER
Frank! Where've you been?
FRANK
Just out. Is everybody okay?
TYLER
Well, Mike and the rest went out to
hunt a ghost--
(off Frank's reaction)
But they're fine. They called in
and said they were stopping for a
snack, so I figure everything went
okay and Vi forgot to eat breakfast
this morning.
FRANK
Oh. Good.
TYLER
So... do you wanna get more
specific on where you went last
night?
Frank sits down next to Tyler but doesn't say anything.
TYLER (CONT'D)
No. Okay. So. Wanna talk about what
happened before you left? With the
shouting and the screaming and the
making Callie reconsider marrying
me?
Frank GRUNTS. Other than this, nothing.
TYLER (CONT'D)
No. Okay. So. Wanna talk about what
happens to your junk after you have
too much sex to celebrate your
engagement, because I--
FRANK
No! Fine! I went drinking. And I
stayed drinking. And then I think I
fell asleep on the floor, but I
can't remember, because it's all a
blur, because of the drinking.
TYLER
So... basically you slept in a bar
all night.
Frank nods.
TYLER (CONT'D)
This does not alleviate my
concerns.
Frank smiles at his nephew's worry. Tyler looks away.
TYLER (CONT'D)
(tentatively)
So... is all that stuff you guys
yelled about last night true?
Grandpa was a--
FRANK
Child-beating son of a bitch. Yup.
Frank puts his hand on Tyler's shoulder.
TYLER
Why-come other people get grandmas
who knit and grandpas who fought in
World War 2 and whittle?
FRANK
We're just lucky, I guess.
Tyler again turns to face Frank.
TYLER
You really slept at a bar?
FRANK
(uncomfortable)
Yeah.
Tyler nods, finishing his snack.
As he's finishing, Doris enters from upstairs.
DORIS
Good morn-- Frank.
Frank looks up at his mother but doesn't say anything.
DORIS (CONT'D)
I'm glad you're back.
Frank nods.
DORIS (CONT'D)
Are you okay?
Frank nods again.
DORIS (CONT'D)
You gonna say anything to your
mother?
Frank stares at her, silent. Tyler gets up, taking his plate
and cup with him.
TYLER
I'm just gonna leave you two
alone...
He heads back to the kitchen. Frank and Doris continue their
staredown, neither wanting to be the first to budge. Finally
Doris sits down next to Frank at the counter.
DORIS
I worried about you.
FRANK
I'm sure.
DORIS
Why do you do that? Why, when I
come to offer genuine sentiment, do
you just assume--
FRANK
Because the idea of you giving a
crap about anything that happens to
me is one I'm just not familiar
with, ma.
Doris sighs.
DORIS
We haven't seen each other in a
decade, Frank.
And in that time, we've hardly
spoken. I thought that you'd
finally, finally have gotten over
this.
FRANK
Seems like you thought wrong.
DORIS
Jason forgave me. If your brother
got over it, why can't you?
Frank refuses to answer, stewing in his seat. Doris SLAMS her
hand on the table.
DORIS (CONT'D)
Dammit, will you answer my
question?
FRANK
Because you never left Jason to the
police, mom! You never threw Jason
to wolves, to do whatever they
wanted, with no help from his
mother!
DORIS
You were a grown man, Frank. I
thought you could handle it.
FRANK
I was a boy! A boy who needed his
mother.
DORIS
Frank. Look at me. You did what you
did. What did you want me to do
about it?
FRANK
What the hell is this, a Doctor
Seuss book?
(cuts her off)
I wanted you to say something in my
defense. To show up and say, you
know, that I wasn't pulling this
child abuse thing straight out my
ass.
DORIS
I couldn't do that, Frank. I
couldn't do that to him. For all
his unbelievable faults, he was my
husband.
FRANK
What about your kids? Didn't they
matter?
DORIS
Of course they mattered, Frank! But
I couldn't do that to him. Ruin his
reputation like that--
FRANK
Don't you mean ruin your reputation
like that?!
DORIS
(beat; quietly)
Yes.
Silence.
Then:
DORIS (CONT'D)
I couldn't let everyone know that I
just... let that happen to my kids.
That I was a terrible mother.
Frank doesn't jump in to contradict her. He's not reacting at
all, completely stone-faced.
DORIS (CONT'D)
I was ashamed. I admit it. It's my
fault it happened--
FRANK
No it's not.
He turns to her for the first time in the conversation.
FRANK (CONT'D)
You didn't make him do what he did.
You didn't make him an asshole.
(beat)
You should have stepped in, but...
it wasn't your fault.
He smiles at her. It's a false smile, but he's trying his
best.
FRANK (CONT'D)
Never think that it was.
Doris manages to hold it together for a fraction of a second,
but then she loses it completely, breaking down in a ball of
tears and sobs.
DORIS
I didn't want anyone to know that
I...
FRANK
I know. It's okay.
He puts his hand on hers. Takes in her tear-streaked face.
He's crying himself, but he's Frank. He's holding his stuff
together.
FRANK (CONT'D)
Ma, there's something I should have
- there's something we should have
said to each other a long time ago.
DORIS
Oh please God, son, don't start
getting emotional. I thought I
taught you better.
FRANK
Will you just shut up and let me
finish, you stubborn impossible
woman?
DORIS
Don't talk to me that way, I'm your
mother.
FRANK
You're not anybody's mother. You
found me in a corn field and
decided I'd be cheap slave labor.
DORIS
Someone told you? Damn. That was
going to be your birthday present.
They're smiling now-- this isn't their hateful teasing from
before. It's something a lot more friendly.
DORIS (CONT'D)
Got any booze?
Frank smiles. He leans over the counter and pulls out a
bottle of whisky. Another reach and he has two glasses.
He pours them each a glass.
FRANK
(as she throws hers back)
That stuff'll kill you.
DORIS
Like you care.
He LAUGHS, a real laugh. She takes out a cigarette and lights
it.
FRANK
I don't like funerals and I'd
probably have to show up.
Tyler pokes his head into the room.
TYLER
I heard laughing-- no one died,
right?
FRANK
Not yet, but she's trying her best.
He points to Doris's cig.
TYLER
Grandma, didn't I tell you? Those
things killed Kurt Vonnegut.
DORIS
They did not kill Kurt Vonnegut.
The floor killed Kurt Vonnegut.
TYLER
Grandma! Don't be insensitive. He
was a literary treasure.
DORIS
You drew your card and I trumped
it.
FRANK
Bring me some pie from the back,
kid.
Tyler smiles, heads back to the kitchen.
Frank and Doris share a smile.
DORIS
So does this mean you forgive me?
FRANK
(eyeing her)
We'll see about that.
He catches a glimpse of something moving over her shoulder:
FRANK (CONT'D)
Quick, ditch the talky. People
coming.
She winks at him as Mike, Vi, Tamsin and Fletcher enter the
diner. Tyler re-emerges as well, holding a covered plate of
cake. He nods at the others as he puts the cake on the table.
FRANK (CONT'D)
Take care of the thing?
VI
Sure did. Where were you?
FRANK
That, my dear, is a long story.
DORIS
He fell asleep in a bar. Literally
in the bar.
MIKE
Dude, that's kind of pathetic.
DORIS
I already told him that, Sailor.
TAMSIN
Why do you call him sailor?
Doris smiles at Mike. He winces and shakes his head "no."
DORIS
Well--
MIKE
I'll pay you a thousand dollars if
you don't tell them.
Doris turns to Tyler.
DORIS
He good for it?
Tyler shakes his head negative.
DORIS (CONT'D)
(to Mike)
Tough break.
(to Tamsin)
Well, once upon a time I was
babysitting these two rugrats. It
was bath time, and even then Mike
was a drama queen.
Laughter from everyone.
We PULL BACK slowly as Doris continues talking.
DORIS (CONT'D)
So, while Tyler's struggling to get
away from the water like a stray
cat...
Her voice fades out as we pull OUT OF THE WINDOW of the
diner.
EXT. FRANK'S DINER - CONTINUOUS
It's daytime, but the low angle of the late-afternoon sun
causes the buildings to cast quite a bit of shade on the
street in front of the diner.
From under an exceptionally shady spot beneath an awning
across the street, A FIGURE watches the diner intently. We
CLOSE IN ON the figure. Male in shape, it's wearing a hooded
sweat-shirt, all his skin covered making details hard to
discern.
As we reach the mysterious form, he licks its teeth as he
watches the diner's occupants. The figure turns his head and
we recognize the face.
It's SILAS.
BLACKOUT.
END OF SHOW
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