2x09
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.

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               INT. COMMAND CENTRAL - SHORTLY LATER

               Frank and Corrine enter and head to a bank of computers,
               passing;

               - Tamsin and Fletcher sitting at a computer, engaging in a
               rather prolonged kiss;

               - Vi, standing in the corner, chin lathered up with shaving
               cream, hacking away with the razor. She winces as a small drop
               of blood appears;

               - And Tyler, on bended knee, holding out a wedding ring to an
               incredulous Mike.

               FOCUS on Mike and Tyler.

                                   MIKE
                         Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.
                             (beat)
                         When's the honeymoon?

                                   TYLER
                         Ha ha. You think the one knee is good?
                         Isn't it a bit cliche?

                                   MIKE
                         Better than two. That just looks like
                         you're begging. Bended knee's a
                         classic.

                                   TYLER
                         Thanks.

                                   MIKE
                         No problem. Anything else?

                                   TYLER
                         Yeah. How should I say it? Something
                         simple like, "Callie, will you marry
                         me?" Or should I try to be funny?

               Mike shakes his head in amusement at his friend's nervous
               worrying.

                                   MIKE
                         Whatever sounds right to you, man.

                                   TYLER
                         What if she says no?

                                   MIKE
                         Dude, she won't say no.

                                   TYLER
                         How'd you know?

               Mike looks warmly at his friend and puts his hand on his
               shoulder.

                                   MIKE
                             (sincerely)
                         Because she loves you.

               We PULL AWAY and FOCUS on Tamsin and Fletcher as they break
               apart.

                                   TAMSIN
                         Well, that was... unexpected.

                                   FLETCHER
                         But welcome?

                                   TAMSIN
                         Definitely.

               They share a smile.

               The computer they're sat at suddenly lets out an urgent BEEP.

               They both turn towards it, studying the readouts.

                                   FLETCHER
                         Well, the arrow's nothing special.
                         Just a run-of-the-mill weapon.

                                   TAMSIN
                         Could it have been dipped in
                         something? A poison, perhaps?

                                   FLETCHER
                         Nah, the analysis would have picked up
                         residue. Guessing the little beastie
                         boy was responsible. Magic, and all
                         that.

                                   TAMSIN
                         Brilliant.

               She looks over at Vi, who REACTS, pulling the razor away from
               her cheek quickly. She massages her face, grimacing. Another 
               tiny bit of blood seeps out.

                                   TAMSIN (CONT'D)
                         So how do we change Vi back?

                                   FLETCHER
                         We'll have to catch the little bugger.
                         It's the only way I know of.

                                   TAMSIN
                         And how do you propose we do that?

                                   FLETCHER
                         A giant butterfly net?

               Tamsin smirks, and turns her attention to a different computer.

               Her smile quickly DROPS as she analyzes the screen.

                                   TAMSIN
                         Fletch. Get over here quick.

               He notes the urgency in her voice and slides over. His
               expression turns deadly serious.

                                   TAMSIN (CONT'D)
                         Tell me it's a computer glitch.

                                   FLETCHER
                         Not a glitch. It's Vi's body.

               The image on the screen keeps changing, deconstructing and
               reconstructing.

                                   FLETCHER (CONT'D)
                         Her hormones are imbalanced. Her
                         body's rejecting the changed DNA.

                                   TAMSIN
                         What does it mean?

                                   FLETCHER
                         Unless we can stabilize her, her
                         body's gonna collapse in on itself.

               They glance across the at Vi, who COUGHS up a load of GOLD MAGIC
               DUST. They share a look of pure horror as we:

                                                            FADE TO BLACK.



                                    END OF ACT ONE
                                        ACT TWO

               INT. COMMAND CENTRAL - CONTINUOUS

               Same as before.

               Vi COUGHS UP MORE GOLD DUST. She takes a couple of deep breaths
               and then seems to be okay.

               Fletcher, watching this, nods as if he was expecting this.

                                   FLETCHER
                         Temporary at the moment. But we need
                         to find something. And fast.

               Overhearing the two, Vi hurries over to joins them.

                                   VI
                         So, what can I do about this!?

               She motions to herself.

                                   TAMSIN
                         Sweet F.A. at the moment, I'm afraid,
                         love.

               Vi sighs. Tamsin reaches up and gives the young woman a
               comforting touch on the arm as we:

               PAN ACROSS to Frank and Corrine, who are clustered nervously by
               another computer. Frank has his cell phone to his ear.

                                   CORRINE
                         How reliable is this guy?

                                   FRANK
                         Pretty damn reliable. He's the guy
                         that lifted the Google Earth fog on
                         Area 51. Billie's still bitchin' about
                         that.

               Frank gives a slight chuckle.

                                   FRANK (CONT'D)
                         If the information's there, he'll get
                         it. 

               He hold his finger up, indicating to Corrine that the person on
               the other end of the line is once again speaking.

                                   FRANK (CONT'D)
                             (into phone)
                         Hey, Jim-bo. What cha got?
                             (beat)
                         Uh huh.
                             (beat)
                         You're sure?
                             (beat)
                         I see.
                             (beat)
                         Thanks.

               Frank hangs up his phone. He looks back to Corrine, his face
               sullen.

                                   FRANK (CONT'D)
                         I'm sorry, Corrine. He accessed the
                         file. It's empty.

               Corrine looks stunned.

                                   CORRINE
                         Empty?

                                   FRANK
                             (nodding)
                         Which means someone wanted your sister
                         to vanish. Someone high up. Someone
                         with a lot more pull than what I've
                         got.

               Corrine looks alarmed.

                                   CORRINE
                         Why would someone...

                                   FRANK
                         I was hoping you'd know.

                                   CORRINE
                             (shaking her head)
                         I haven't seen Willamena since I was
                         seven. They split us up when we got
                         put in foster care.

                                   FRANK
                         My friend's got one more source he's
                         going to hit up, but it doesn't look
                         good.

               Suddenly, Corrine LUNGES forward, RIPPING out the computer's
               power cable. Everyone looks in her direction.

               The COMPUTER flickers and DIES. Sparks SHOWER over them.

               Frank pulls the cable out of her hand with some difficulty. Her
               determination is steely.

                                   FRANK (CONT'D)
                             (calmly)
                         That's not the answer, y'know.

               She SWALLOWS and looks away. A tear creeps into the corner of
               her eye.

                                   CORRINE
                         I know. I just... I don't know how
                         much longer I can wait, Frank. She's
                         the only family I have.

                                   FRANK
                         Here.

               Frank opens his arms. Corrine falls into them. He hugs her
               tightly.

                                   FRANK (CONT'D)
                         I'll do what I can to help you, okay?
                         Just promise me you won't do anything
                         stupid. I'd hate to lose you.

                                   CORRINE
                         As a friend, or a Slayer?

                                   FRANK
                         Both.

               A small smile threatens to creep across Corrine's face. A moment
               passes between the pair. They gaze softly at each other for a
               beat. As they realize what is going on, their expressions turn
               to frowns. They quickly move away from each other.

               PAN ACROSS to Tyler, who is pacing up and down, phone pressed to
               his ear, biting his nails to the quick. Mike's lazily slumped
               over a swivel-chair, bored out of his mind.

               At last, Tyler gets through.

                                   TYLER
                         Callie, hi!
                             (beat)
                         What? Nah, my phone's short on
                         minutes, that's why I'm using Mike's.

               Mike smiles at this.

                                   MIKE
                         That's what bros are for.

               Tyler waves at him - shut up.

                                   TYLER
                         Yeah, anyway. I was thinking about
                         dinner tonight?

               He listens for a sec, then turns away in horror.

                                   TYLER (CONT'D)
                         Dammit!

                                   MIKE
                         She full?

                                   TYLER
                         She's got plans tonight.

               Mike gestures to the phone.

                                   MIKE
                         Give it here- I'll sort out it for ya.

                                   TYLER
                         No, no. This is my time. I have to
                         make the play.

               Cue a sarcastic raised eyebrow from Mike.

               Tyler presses the phone back to his ear.

                                   TYLER (CONT'D)
                         Yeah, Callie. It's just, I think it's
                         really important that you come out
                         tonight.
                             (beat)
                         Why?

               He turns and mouths "Why" to Mike, who responds with an
               exaggerated shrug.

                                   TYLER (CONT'D)
                         Er, because you haven't... eaten
                         much... lately... and...
                             (beat)
                         No! No, I'm not saying you're
                         anorexic, I'm just saying that you
                         could do with a bit of...

               Tyler turns to Mike, a look of sheer panicked desperation on his
               face.

               Before Mike can do anything else, Tyler throws him the phone.
               Hard.

                                   TYLER (CONT'D)
                         Save it for me. Please.

               Mike beams.

                                   MIKE
                             (on phone)
                         Hey, Callie. Yeah, it's my fault.
                         Trying to get the T-Man to be
                         romantic. Really just want him out of
                         here tonight. I'm having some friends
                         over and you know have he gets, with
                         the sci-fi talk and all--

               He laughs loudly, responding to something Callie's said. Tyler
               frowns.

                                   MIKE (CONT'D)
                         Yeah. Anyway. He's got some cash
                         burning a hole in his pocket, and I'm
                         convincing him to spend it on you.
                             (beat)
                         Any time.
                             (beat)
                         No. No need. Unless, of course, you
                         know a hunky twentysomething with an
                         eye for blond warlocks?
                             (beat)
                         Hey- gotta widen your social circle a
                         touch, lady.

               He laughs again, then throws the phone back to Tyler, who almost
               drops it, juggles it for a bit, and then finally gets it to his
               ear.

                                   TYLER
                         Yeah. Great. See you at eight, yeah?
                             (beat)
                         All right. No problemo, as the
                         Terminator would say. 
                             (beat)
                         I love you too.
                             (beat)
                         No, I love you more.
                             (beat)
                         More than that. Way more.
                             (beat)
                         I love you like the-

               And the phone disappears. Mike walks past, phone in hand.

                                   MIKE
                         Yo! My minutes, dude.

               Tyler just gapes at him.

                                   MIKE (CONT'D)
                         Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an
                         appointment to make.

               He quickly dials a number.

                                   MIKE (CONT'D)
                             (into phone)
                         Yo, Jack, buddy! Mike. Yeah. The one
                         and only. Listen, I've gotta a spare
                         movie ticket, and was wondering if you
                         wanna come with? 
                             (beat)
                         2012. 
                             (beat, then with an amused
                              snort)
                         Yeah. 
                             (beat)
                         Awesome. See you there at sevenish.

               He rings off, and is confronted by a disappointed looking Tyler.

                                   TYLER
                         Our movie tickets?

                                   MIKE
                         Hey- you chose to spend tonight
                         keeping your sweetie sweet. I can't
                         let a ticket go to waste.

                                   TYLER
                         But that was our film. I was looking
                         forward to-

                                   MIKE
                         MST3King it's ass. I know. Still. End
                         of the world. Same old, same old. Let
                         you know if it's realistic.

               He slaps Tyler on the back.

                                   TYLER
                         Wait. Did you say Jack? As in
                         "brooding professor that you've had
                         lunch with three times this week"
                         Jack?

                                   MIKE
                             (firmly)
                         We're just friends.

                                   TYLER
                             (unconvinced)
                         Okay.

               PAN ACROSS to Tamsin, Fletcher and Vi, who are shuffling around
               looking quite uncomfortable.

                                   FLETCHER
                         Want the good news?

                                   TAMSIN
                         Is there any?

                                   FLETCHER
                         Some. I've isolated some unique
                         elements from the whatever-it-was you
                         guys saw last night. So we can track
                         it when it shows its face again.

                                   TAMSIN
                         Fantastic. I have a score to settle
                         with the baby-faced assassin.

                                   VI
                         You have a score to settle?

               Then Vi suddenly STARTS, and pulls her phone out of her jeans
               pocket.

                                   VI (CONT'D)
                         Vibrate has a totally different effect
                         when I'm like this. Can't say I like
                         it.

               She shakes herself, and answers.

                                   VI (CONT'D)
                         Hello?
                             (beat, then higher, as if on
                              helium)
                         Rick! Hi!
                             (beat)
                         What? No, I'm fine! Really! Tonight?
                         You sure?
                             (beat)
                         I'll be there!

               And she rings off fast.

                                   TAMSIN
                         You'll be there?

                                   VI
                         Rick's reminded me that we're going
                         out tonight.

                                   TAMSIN
                         You're not serious.

                                   VI
                         I couldn't say no!

                                   TAMSIN
                         You could! It's one of the easiest
                         words in the English language!

                                   FLETCHER
                         It's the only word in the Russian
                         language.

               Vi looks between the two in frustration.

                                   VI
                         You don't understand! It's
                         complicated! Last night, he told me he
                         loved me! I can't stand him up! That's
                         cold, and heartless!

                                   TAMSIN
                         But it's the only way! What do you
                         think he'll say when he sees you like
                         that?

                                   FLETCHER
                         Not to mention the whole potential for
                         melting into goo at some point in
                         time.

                                   VI
                             (ignoring Fletcher; to
                              Tamsin)
                         You can help me! Y'know, give me a
                         make-over or whatever? Like you did
                         when you made me look like a hooker.

                                   TAMSIN
                             (scoffing)
                         I appreciate your confidence in me,
                         love, but you don't need my help. You
                         need RuPaul!

               Vi looks pleadingly at Tamsin.

               Tamsin exhales in a sarcastic way. Then:

                                   TAMSIN (CONT'D)
                         Fine. I'll see what I can do.

               Fletcher gives an annoyed huff. Tamsin points at Vi's body.

                                   TAMSIN (CONT'D)
                         But you'd better hope that what they
                         say is true.

                                   VI
                         What?

                                   TAMSIN
                         Love's blind.

                                   VI
                         Hey!

               She gives Tamsin a playful punch. Tamsin sticks her tongue out
               in a childish response.

               Fletcher, gathering together some equipment, pushes them apart.

                                   FLETCHER
                         Come on! Let's get going!

               They leave, and we FOCUS on the arrow.

               Which SHIMMERS GOLD, before a small GOLD LIGHTNING STORM builds
               around it, CRACKLING with MAGICAL ENERGY.

                                                            FADE TO BLACK.



                                    END OF ACT TWO
                                       ACT THREE

               INT. TYLER'S ROOM - DAY

               C/U on Tyler, who's rocking backwards and forwards on his chair -
               a bucket of nerves.

               In the background, posters of various shows can be seen, as well
               as neatly stacked boxes of computer games, and a row of Star
               Wars memorabilia.

               The picture is fuzzy and grainy - it's a WEBCAM again.

                                   TYLER
                         I'm gonna do it. This is it, guys. I'm
                         gonna propose.

               He holds up his ring.

                                   TYLER (CONT'D)
                         Not an easy decision to make. But it's
                         about time. I'm not for grand gestures
                         though, so this might go terribly
                         wrong.

               He pauses, looks away for a second.

                                   TYLER (CONT'D)
                         Then again, it might go terribly
                         right.

               He smirks at this. 

                                   TYLER (CONT'D)
                         The question is, how do I do it?

               Lost in thought for a beat, he needs a O.S. SHOUT of pain from
               Vi to bring him back into the present.

                                   TYLER (CONT'D)
                         Oh, ignore that by the way. Girl I
                         live with's having the waxing of her
                         life.
                             (beat)
                         But back to my problems. Think!

               He scratches the back of his head as he tries to rack his
               brains.

                                   TYLER (CONT'D)
                         WWPD. What would Picard do?

               Inadvertently, he pulls the front of his shirt down.

                                   TYLER (CONT'D)
                         If only there really was a holodeck I
                         could practice in.
                             (beat)
                         Still. Time waits for no man.
                             (beat)
                         Unless you're Doctor Who of course.
                             (beat)
                         But I'm not, so it's moot. Wish me
                         luck, peeps!

               He stands up, about to switch off the webcam when-

                                   MIKE (O.S.)
                         What's this? Talking to yourself now,
                         dude?

               He swings into frame, looking at his image in appreciation.

                                   MIKE (CONT'D)
                         Gotta say, the camera picks me up
                         nice.

                                   TYLER
                         I'm not talking to myself - I'm on my
                         Vlog.

                                   MIKE
                         Say what?

               Tyler switches the webcam off. FOCUS instead on the two guys as
               Tyler shuts the computer down and moves to leave.

                                   TYLER
                         Video log. Talking to the world via
                         the Internet.

                                   MIKE
                         Cool. What about?

                                   TYLER
                         This and that. Stuff going in my life.
                         My proposal to Callie tonight.

                                   MIKE
                         That all?

               Tyler throws him an affronted look.

                                   TYLER
                         Not enough?

                                   MIKE
                         Dude, you can talk to the world. We
                         battle demons. And you talk about your
                         love life? 
                             (beat)
                         Priorities need changing, man.

               He ushers a thoughtful Tyler out of the room.

                                                                  CUT TO:

               INT. VI'S BEDROOM - DAY

               The bedroom door closes as a limping Vi leaves the room, towel
               wrapped around her waist.

               FOCUS on Tamsin and Fletcher, reclining on the bed, smiles on
               their faces.

                                   FLETCHER
                         Well, that was fun. And disturbing.

                                   TAMSIN
                         Just a tad.

               Fletcher nods towards the door.

                                   FLETCHER
                         You think it'll work?

                                   TAMSIN
                         Not a chance.
                             (beat)
                         But it's the best we can do. She
                         shouldn't really go out like this.

                                   FLETCHER
                         But since there's no convincing her,
                         perhaps we should make the best of a
                         bad situation.

               Tamsin turns to him, raising a questioning eyebrow.

                                   FLETCHER (CONT'D)
                         She shouldn't be on her own. We should
                         be nearby... you know... in case
                         something happens.

                                   TAMSIN
                             (smirking)
                         Are you asking me to dinner?

                                   FLETCHER
                         In a manner of speaking.

                                   TAMSIN
                         You paying?

                                   FLETCHER
                         Of course.

               Cue a lascivious smile from Tamsin.

                                   TAMSIN
                         I'm liking you more and more, mister.

                                   FLETCHER
                         Same to you. Apart from the mister
                         part.

                                   TAMSIN
                         Oh, I'm all woman. Trust me.

               Fletcher joins in the flirtatious stakes with a smile of his
               own.

                                   FLETCHER
                         I'm afraid I'll need proof.

                                   TAMSIN
                         Play your cards right, sir, and you
                         may just...

               They lean together, about to kiss again, when:

                                   VI (O.S.)
                         OH CRAP!

               Which causes Fletcher and Tamsin to jump apart in shock.

               They quickly shake themselves back into the present.

                                   TAMSIN
                         What's wrong?

                                   VI (O.S.)
                         Come here quick! I've made a mess in
                         the bathroom!

               Tamsin pulls a disgusted face.

                                   TAMSIN
                         You sure we have to come, Vi? That's
                         an image I don't need.

                                   VI (O.S.)
                         I needed to pee, but I'm not used to,
                         y'know, holding anything, so I let it
                         roam free.
                             (beat)
                         And now there's a...splattery effect.

               Fletcher and Tamsin look at each other, realizing.

                                   TAMSIN
                         You'd better see to it. I'll collect
                         the stuff.

                                   FLETCHER
                         Why do I have to?

                                   TAMSIN
                         About time a man had to clean off the
                         toilet seat.

               As they get up to perform their respective tasks, Fletcher cocks
               an eyebrow.

                                   FLETCHER
                         I'm just glad it wasn't a long drop.

                                                                  CUT TO:
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Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.