INT. DARTWELL ACADEMY - CLASS ROOM - DAY
Jamie, Beau, and Brynn sit together at the back of the class.
JAMIE
(quietly)
So you're new also?
BRYNN
(quietly)
Just transferred.
BEAU
From where?
BRYNN
Oh, a long way from here. What
about you boys? Lived here long?
BEAU
Nah. I'm originally from Austin
Texas as you can tell by my
charming accent.
He gives Brynn a wink.
BEAU (CONT'D)
My mom works for MacroWare. Got
transferred here last year. Oh, and
Jamie, it's his first day too.
(beat)
You guys know each other?
JAMIE
No.
BRYNN
(at the same time)
Maybe.
Jamie makes a confused face. Beau looks back and forth
between Jamie and Brynn. Brynn turns away from the boys and
smiles. She raises her hand.
TEACHER (O.S.)
Yes, uh...
(beat)
Brynn?
BRYNN
May I go to the rest room?
TEACHER (O.S.)
Of course.
Brynn gets up, smoothing her skirt as she exits the
classroom.
BEAU
What did she mean, maybe?
JAMIE
I have no idea. That girl is weird.
BEAU
Yeah.
(beat)
Pretty, though.
Jamie rolls his eyes.
JAMIE
Come on.
BEAU
What?
JAMIE
You've known her, what, five
minutes?
BEAU
I didn't propose to her! I just
said that she's, you know, pleasing
to the eye.
JAMIE
Mmhmm.
BEAU
What?
JAMIE
You fancy her.
BEAU
(confused)
Fancy? What?
JAMIE
(unsure)
I-- it's like-- my mom says it
about boys. I don't understand it,
she says a lot of weird things.
BEAU
You don't talk like your mom.
JAMIE
Nah. I talk like the people on TV.
Beau waves his hands in the air.
BEAU
Whatever. Doesn't matter. The point
is, when she comes back, you need
to let me talk to her, okay?
JAMIE
Fine. Why don't you invite her to
the diner after school? We can...
hang out.
Beau smiles, thoughtful.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S DINER - DAY
Everyone's in the diner. Vi and Tyler play checkers at a
booth. Frank, Fletcher, and Tamsin discuss a case. Mike,
however, is nowhere to be found.
Vi takes one of Tyler's pieces.
TYLER
Dammit!
FRANK
(looking up)
What?
TYLER
Vi jumped me.
Tamsin and Fletcher turn in unison.
FRANK
Really now.
Tyler looks to Vi for help, but she just sticks out her
tongue.
TYLER
Well-- I--
FLETCHER
It didn't seem to take too long.
TAMSIN
Look at her, doesn't appear she
enjoyed it very much, poor dear.
FRANK
Boy, that must be embarrassing.
Tyler plants his face in his hands and randomly flicks one of
his checkers across the board. Vi claps gleefully and jumps
THREE of Tyler's pieces in one go.
VI
King me!
TYLER
I dub thee King Victoria of
Dinertopia.
VI
Very good, sir. And what powers am
I given over this land?
TYLER
Well, I won't lie, your duties are
largely ceremonial.
VI
Rats.
TYLER
Standing by at the annual stove
cleaning, waving as guests come in,
collecting your portion of the tip
for the royal coffers.
Vi GIGGLES. Over Tyler's shoulder, she can see Jamie, Beau,
and Brynn approaching the door. She THROWS one of Tyler's
captured checkers at Frank.
VI
Kids coming. Files go away.
Tamsin quickly shuffles the files together and slides them
across the table to Frank, who pops them under the counter
just as the bell RINGS and the kids enter.
JAMIE
Hi, Mom!
TAMSIN
Hey, baby.
Jamie shuffles uncomfortably. Beau sniggers.
FRANK
Good day at school?
Brynn looks to Frank.
BRYNN
(to Jamie; stage whisper)
Is that your dad?
Jamie's face falls. Tamsin and Frank lock eyes, disgusted.
Fletcher has to turn and walk away to conceal his HYSTERICAL
LAUGHTER.
BEAU
Definitely not.
TAMSIN
Who is this, Jamie?
She indicates Brynn.
JAMIE
This is Brynn. She's new at school.
TAMSIN
Hello Brynn. I'm Tamsin, Jamie's
mother. This is Fletcher, Frank,
Vi, and Tyler.
At their names, each respective person nods, waves, or smiles
at Brynn. She politely smiles back.
TAMSIN (CONT'D)
Tell me about your day, son.
As the kids crowd around Tamsin, Tyler and Vi continue their
game.
VI
Haven't seen Mike around much
lately.
TYLER
Yeah, he's... been busy.
VI
He certainly has.
Tyler rolls his eyes. He knows what's coming.
TYLER
Look--
VI
He's got a problem. We all know it.
Serial sex like that isn't healthy.
TYLER
I know.
VI
Someone should really talk to him.
She looks sternly at Tyler. Tyler is oblivious.
TYLER
You're right.
Vi looks at Tyler expectantly as he continues to move his
checkers. His eyes flick up at her, then back down. Then up
again.
TYLER (CONT'D)
What? Me?
VI
You're his best friend.
TYLER
Exactly. That's exactly the reason
I shouldn't do it.
Vi clearly doesn't understand.
TYLER (CONT'D)
I've dealt with this particular
"Mike Problem" before, though never
on this scale. It's not a
conversation I want to ever have
again. That way lies anger and
shouting... and possible
dismemberment. And I happen to like
my "member", thank you! That's why
I tried to get Frank to--
VI
But you're the only one he really
listens to. I mean, now that Lon...
Tyler nods.
VI (CONT'D)
He takes you seriously. None of us
can get anywhere because he just
jokes around until we go away. You
know how to get around his...
"smartass-ery".
Vi gives Tyler a pleading look. He sighs resignedly.
TYLER
All right. Fine. I'll talk to him.
No promises. But I'll try.
Vi smiles and jumps another of Tyler's pieces.
VI
I win!
Tyler SLUMPS onto the table.
ACROSS THE DINER, Jamie, Brynn, and Beau sit at a booth.
BEAU
(braggingly)
...and so I walked up to him and I
said, "You just try it!"
Jamie and Brynn are obviously not paying attention, instead
they smile shyly at each other.
The clueless Beau continues his boasting as the camera PANS
to Tamsin smiles to Fletcher and Frank.
TAMSIN
My mutant son has friends!
FRANK
They're definitely going to give
you a motherhood award.
TAMSIN
Shut up, you grumpy old coot! My
child is fitting in. He's the first
male in my family who hasn't been
stuffed in a locker his first day
of school. And look!
She points to the children. Brynn says something. Jamie
laughs.
TAMSIN (CONT'D)
A girl is talking to him! That's
utterly unprecedented.
The adults continue to observe the kids from across the room
as Jamie looks at Brynn and blushes.
TAMSIN (CONT'D)
I think someone has their first
crush!
FLETCHER
I think you might need to calm down
a bit. You're a little too...
TAMSIN
I'm just trying to pack the fifteen
years of excitement I missed into a
few months so I can be normal
later.
Frank puts his hand on Tamsin's.
FRANK
We get that. But do it a little
quieter, yeah? You don't want to be
one of those mothers.
TAMSIN
I've no idea what you're talking
about.
As Frank smirks, we PAN OVER to the kids sitting at the
table. Jamie and Beau joke about something as Brynn looks
over at Frank and Tamsin.
There's a LOUD SNAPPING SOUND.
Frank looks up--
FRANK's POV
--one of the large lights suspended over the bar FALLS--
WHITEOUT.
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. FRANK'S DINER - DAY
As before. The light FALLS TOWARDS FRANK--
--and with surprising speed Fletcher VAULTS over the counter,
knocking Frank back, both men landing safely against the far
wall. The light SHATTERS, glass and metal going everywhere.
Frank looks from the light, to the light fixture, back to the
light.
FRANK
(beat)
All damn day!
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S DINER - LATER
The kids are gone. Vi and Tyler sweep up the debris from the
light. Frank sits at a booth, an ice pack on his injured
elbow. Tamsin gently cleans a cut over Fletcher's eye.
FLETCHER
Ouch!
TAMSIN
Well, bloody hold still, then.
(beat)
There. All done.
She pastes a pink "Princess" Band-Aid over the cut.
FLETCHER
(smirking)
Classy.
With an amused smile, Tamsin slaps him lightly on the cheek.
Tyler gingerly steps around the glass.
TYLER
(to Frank)
Jeez, Frank! What happened? And
more importantly, should I invest
in a crash helmet?
Frank surveys the scene with an annoyed expression.
FRANK
I have no idea. We were talking,
then it fell. Stuff like that has
been going on all damn morning.
FLETCHER
It's very strange.
Frank turns to him, eyebrow raised.
FRANK
What happened to "It's just bad
luck?"
FLETCHER
I hadn't been almost killed by it
then.
FRANK
Well, thanks.
The diner door opens and Mike enters, looking happy. Vi
points to him over her broom. Tyler turns around and SIGHS.
TYLER
Okay. All right.
He leans the broom against the counter and follows Mike
upstairs. Vi shouts after him.
VI
I didn't mean right now! Who's
gonna help me clean?!
Off her annoyed expression we:
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - MIKE'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Mike enters his bedroom and kicks off his shoes, flopping
down on the bed. Tyler is quickly in as well. He knocks on
the open door. Mike looks up.
MIKE
Hey.
TYLER
Where've you been?
MIKE
I was...
(grins broadly)
...out.
Tyler rolls his eyes.
TYLER
I don't--
MIKE
Okay, you got me. I was "in" and
then "out... and then "in"... and
then "out"...
Mike chuckles to himself.
TYLER
(to himself)
Yes. This is what I did not want.
He sits down heavily on Mike's bed.
TYLER (CONT'D)
(seriously)
We need to talk.
Mike shifts uncomfortable, a guilty look on his face.
MIKE
Yeah, I know. And I'm sorry man.
Tyler relaxes slightly. Things are going better than he
thought.
MIKE (CONT'D)
And you're right... I shouldn't
have used your razor, but I had
some very intimate grooming to do
and mine was dull.
A grossed-out look crosses Tyler's face.
TYLER
That's not what this is about, and
Eww! I shaved with that this
morning!
Mike looks away sheepishly.
TYLER (CONT'D)
Everyone's-- we're worried about
you!
Mike looks back to Tyler wearing an incredulous expression.
MIKE
What? Why? I'm fine. Great. Haven't
you seen me recently?
TYLER
Yeah, dude. I have. That's my
point.
The two stare at each other. Words passing, no sound.
MIKE
(realizing)
Oh God! You really wanna do this,
dude? Give me the "After School
Special" treatment?
The air hangs heavy between the two men.
TYLER
What are you doing, Mike? It's
been, what, almost seven months?
There must have been seventy guys
come through here since then!
Tyler considers his own words and hops off Mike's bed,
discreetly wiping his hands on his pants.
MIKE
So? I'm being safe.
TYLER
So? So I'm sick of having to defend
you to Vi and Tamsin, that's so!
We're supposed to be best friends,
man, when's the last time we've
actually talked?
Mike jumps up, finger thrust towards Tyler.
MIKE
Don't lecture me on morals and
friendship, "best friend." I don't
have to answer to you about the
people I see.
TYLER
I didn't say--
MIKE
(angry)
This is just what I do. It's fun.
Okay? I'm allowed to have fun,
Jesus! I have school all day, I
kill monsters all night, I should
be able to enjoy what little free
time I get!
TYLER
I know that.
MIKE
Maybe you should act like it. Oh,
and I don't give a rat's ass what
you have to do with Tamsin and Vi
to appease them. That's not my
freaking problem.
He walks to the door, JERKING IT OPEN.
MIKE (CONT'D)
(coldly)
I know, maybe you should show Vi
your room sometime, if you know
what I mean. Might loosen your
tight little ass up. Sure seems to
work for me.
He SLAMS the door behind him. Tyler stands in the room, fists
clenched. Finally he grabs Mike's alarm clock from the
bedside table and THROWS IT ACROSS THE ROOM. It SHATTERS
AGAINST THE WALL.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S DINER - DUSK
The sun is setting. Frank is still cradling his injured arm.
Fletcher is absent, as is Tamsin. Frank and Vi finish
sweeping the glass from the light. Frank leans his broom
against the counter and reaches out to place a hand on Vi's
shoulder. She steps away from him.
FRANK
What?
VI
Don't touch me. You're bad luck.
FRANK
I am not bad luck.
VI
How many times have you almost died
today?
FRANK
(sheepish)
Couple.
VI
Right. And how many times have I
almost died today?
FRANK
None.
VI
I want to keep it that way.
Frank rolls his eyes. Fletcher emerges from the kitchen, a
SMALL SCANNER in his hand.
FRANK
What's that?
FLETCHER
It's a modified version of the
portal locators. If any magical
being is targeting you, or there's
any curse or demon after you, I'll
be able to find it.
Just now, Mike STORMS DOWN THE STAIRS, opening and slamming
the diner door, disappearing into the street.
FLETCHER (CONT'D)
And right now it's detecting one
very pissy homosexual.
FRANK
Forget him. If he wants to be a
bitch, let him be a bitch. Let's
just find whatever's trying to kill
me.
Fletcher nods.
FLETCHER
All I have to do is sweep this
around the area and we'll find our
culprit, if there is one.
FRANK
If?
VI
I thought you'd jumped on the
"Curse Bandwagon"?
FLETCHER
Time has healed that lapse of
judgement. Time, and nothing is
hitting me on the head anymore.
I would say the latter is just as
important as the former. Now, where
did these accidents first start?
FRANK
My bathroom.
FLETCHER
Then let's go sweep it!
He starts for the stairs, but Vi grabs his arm.
FRANK
Maybe I should... just... I'll --
He grabs the scanner and heads to his bathroom.
FLETCHER
What was...
VI
That isn't something you want to
experience except in a dire
emergency.
The two of them sit at the counter, some distance apart.
Together, alone, they're uncomfortable. Fletcher DRUMS HIS
FINGERS on the countertop.
FLETCHER
So...
VI
Yeah?
FLETCHER
How's the boyfriend?
VI
He's... good.
FLETCHER
Good.
VI
What about you?
FLETCHER
Hmm?
VI
Seeing anybody?
FLETCHER
Oh, no. No. There's a... I'm
looking, though.
A tiny grin breaks Vi's lips.
VI
A specific girl in mind?
FLETCHER
You could say that.
VI
Tamsin?
Fletcher doesn't say anything. He specifically looks away,
tapping his fingers harder.
VI (CONT'D)
Tamsin!
FLETCHER
Shut up.
VI
It's sweet.
FLETCHER
Uh huh.
VI
I could put in a good word for you
if you want.
Fletcher leans in.
FLETCHER
Really?
VI
No. But I can tell her that you
asked me to.
Fletcher leans back, crosses his arms.
FLETCHER
Truly, your ways are of the Devil.
VI
Well, I do have a vagina.
Fletcher nods. Of course.
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - SUNSET
The sun's setting. Mike crosses the street, barely looking
around for cars. He sits down on a metal bench on the other
side of the street, tossing his head back over the rail. He
looks at the sunset.
He sighs loudly and looks up at the sky for a beat.
HOBO (O.S.)
Hey! Got any change?
Mike sits up as a HOBO shoves a tin can in his face.
HOBO (CONT'D)
Any change?
MIKE
Uh...
He fishes in his pocket, pulling out his wallet. He hands the
hobo a few dollar bills, which the hobo eagerly grabs,
knocking Mike's wallet out of his hand.
HOBO
Sorry.
MIKE
No problem. Just, you know...
HOBO
Thanks for the cash.
Mike nods at him as he walks away. Then Mike picks up his
wallet. It's the kind with the plastic flaps for photographs.
The top picture is Mike, Vi, and Tyler at the Roundhouse,
mugging for the camera.
Mike smiles warmly and flips to the next photo. An art shot
of Frank's diner, one Mike took personally. The next one,
though, is far more personal. Mike, holding LON, kissing the
top of his head in a booth at the diner.
Mike takes the photo out of the plastic cover and brings it
close to his face. His eyes are red with tears as we:
CUT TO:
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