INT. FRANK'S DINER - LATER
Frank is wiping down the bar when Mike comes out of the
kitchen.
FRANK
How'd it go?
MIKE
All's quiet in the world of
monsters and mayhem.
He sits down across from Frank.
FRANK
Good.
MIKE
Kat says hi.
FRANK
(unenthusiastic)
Good.
(beat)
Oh, yeah, I was supposed to talk to
you. Look, you're gonna have to
start taking magic more serious--
MIKE
(waving his hand
dismissively)
Yeah, I know, we're cool on that.
I'll take my powers more seriously.
I'm sorry for what I've been doing
and I'll apologize to Lon when he
gets back.
Mike pats Frank on the shoulder and goes upstairs, leaving
Frank bewildered.
FRANK
(beat)
So... good talk.
Frank taps his hand on the bar.
FADE TO:
INT. FRANK'S DINER - LATER
From outside the windows, we can see it's NIGHT. Vi sits in
the diner, working on her schoolwork. Mike walks down the
stairs. Vi looks up at the sound of his FOOTSTEPS.
VI
(drops her pencil)
Oh, hi, Mike!
Mike sits down next to her.
MIKE
Vi. I was thinking.
VI
About what?
MIKE
Remember what I was talking about
this morning?
VI
Finding men.
MIKE
Exactly.
VI
Then I remember
MIKE
Great.
An awkward beat.
VI
Is that the end of the...?
MIKE
What? Oh! No. I was thinking, we
could go out and troll for guys
tonight. Any good places in town?
Vi thinks for a moment, then snaps.
VI
We could go to the Roundhouse!
MIKE
I don't, uh, know what that is.
It's like a dojo, or something?
VI
(laughs, a little too
much)
No, it's that club I was talking
about.
MIKE
(nodding)
Great. Sounds great. We'll hit it
about, what, nine tonight?
VI
(all smiles)
Sure!
Mike smiles and walks back upstairs. Vi watches him as he
walks, and when he disappears upstairs, she sighs and hangs
her head.
CUT TO:
INT. TYLER'S ROOM - LATER
Tyler is laying on his bed. The TV is on, the familiar Murray
Gold "Doctor Who Theme" pumping away, but he's not watching.
His eyes are closed and he's lost in thought.
There's a KNOCK on his door. Tyler grabs his remote control
and MUTES the set.
TYLER
Come in!
Mike opens the door and sticks his head in.
MIKE
Dressed?
TYLER
No, I always enjoy my science
fiction in the nude.
Mike walks into the room.
MIKE
Only way I'd enjoy it. How's it
going?
TYLER
(big sigh)
How's what going?
MIKE
I don't know. Work?
TYLER
Jeez.
MIKE
(grinning)
I know that sound.
Mike sits down at the foot of Tyler's bed.
MIKE (CONT'D)
That's the "girl trouble" sound.
I've never made that sound.
(beat)
That's kind of relaxing.
Tyler throws a pillow at Mike. He catches it and tosses it
aside.
MIKE (CONT'D)
So tell me what's the problem?
TYLER
There's a girl at work I like, but
she's not interested. It's
basically-same as always, really.
Mike nods.
MIKE
Yeah, okay, but now it's time for
my problems.
TYLER
The thing I like about our
friendship is how sensitive and
caring you are.
MIKE
Do you want to come to a club with
me tonight?
TYLER
Isn't that more of a third date
kind of deal? You don't want to
just watch a movie first?
MIKE
No, jackass. I meant with me and
Vi. We're going to pick up guys--
TYLER
(disgusted)
Un-uh! That is not something I want
to be involved in. Not after what
happened last time, with those
bikers.
MIKE
Well, that was your own fault. You
shouldn't have winked at Big Tony.
TYLER
I wasn't winking! There was
something in my eye!
MIKE
(chuckling)
And you'da had quite a bit more
something in somewhere else if Big
Tony had his way.
Mike realizes that he is only succeeding in angering Tyler.
He quits laughing. Giving Tyler his warmest smile, he scoots
closer to his friend.
MIKE (CONT'D)
Look, dude. I need you to come
'cause I'm trying to let her down
easy.
Tyler sits up.
TYLER
Can't you just give her your famous
"Dogma" speech?
MIKE
I did. But the poor kid's crushing
pretty hard on the "Mike-a-nator".
And who can blame her?
Tyler rolls his eyes.
MIKE (CONT'D)
I thought maybe if we take her out
to a club where she can meet some
hot guys, it would take her mind
off yours truly. But it's not gonna
work if she's making goo-goo eyes
at me all night long.
TYLER
So you need me as a buffer.
MIKE
(relieved)
Exactly. Exactly, I do.
TYLER
(sighing)
Let me get changed.
Mike smiles broadly and claps Tyler on the back. He stands
and turns to leave the room.
TYLER (CONT'D)
Don't think you're me fooling me
with the "Mr. Noble" routine. I
know what's goin' on in that
devious brain of yours. This is all
an elaborate excuse so you can hit
on guys.
Mike turns around, a cheeky grin on his face.
MIKE
(shrugging)
This way everybody wins?
Tyler smirks and shakes his head as Mike leaves the room. The
then gets off the bed, and heads to his closet.
TYLER
(sigh)
Yeah... everybody.
As he reaches into his closet we:
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S DINER - LATER
Tyler, Mike, and Vi are in the diner, heading to the door.
They're dressed for clubbing, in their most stylish threads.
MIKE
We ready?
TAMSIN (O.S)
Wait a minute!
Tamsin comes downstairs, also ready to go out.
TYLER
You did a thing with your hair.
TAMSIN
Indeed I did. You guys didn't think
you were going to go out without
me, did you?
As they move to the door:
TYLER
(to Vi and Mike)
I don't see how you two have time
to go out. Isn't college, I don't
know, hard? Do you just not have to
do work?
VI
I did all mine.
MIKE
Yeah, me too- oh. Crap. Hold on.
Mike runs off.
CUT TO:
INT. MIKE'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Mike's desk is covered in sketch paper. He enters the room
and sits down at the desk, picking a pencil up off the floor.
Looking at the paper, then his watch, he groans.
Nervously he looks back and forth. Then he sighs and closes
his eyes, pointing his finger at the paper.
ANGLE ON: The paper. In high-speed, a drawing begins to take
shape.
It's a tall demon, with rippling muscles, horns on its head,
an armor-like carapace complete with shoulder guards, and a
sword in its hand.
BACK TO SCENE
Mike looks at his completed drawing, nods, and leaves the
room, SHUTTING the door behind him. The camera LINGERS on the
closed door for a moment, and then we PAN DOWN to the paper,
where the demon starts walking across the page.
BLACK OUT.
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. ROUNDHOUSE CLUB - NIGHT
LOUD, THUMPING MUSIC is playing in the club as a host of
YOUNG ADULTS dance. Two dozen tables are spread out across
the floor, and there's a bar on the floor as well.
We PAN ACROSS the crowd, seeing various people dancing.
Finally we land on Vi, Tamsin, Tyler and Mike, surrounded by
bodies, all smiles. They're clearly having fun. All except
Tyler. He doesn't seem that into it, and in lieu of dancing
is mostly just standing around tapping his foot.
MIKE
(yelling)
Hey!
TYLER
(also yelling)
Yeah?
MIKE
What's wrong?
TYLER
Nothing.
MIKE
You sure?
TYLER
Yeah.
(beat)
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna go sit
down for a minute.
Tyler crosses the dance floor until he reaches a table across
from the bar. He sighs and sits down, propping his head up on
his hand. He starts tapping his fingers on the bar with his
other hand absentmindedly, looking around.
TYLER (CONT'D)
(to self)
Don't even know what I'm doing
here, this isn't my kind of thing.
Dancing. I don't dance. I drink.
Okay. Yeah. I drink. That's what
I'll do. I'll drink.
Tyler gets up and looks towards the bar. We PAN ACROSS to it,
and we can see that CALLIE is sitting there, ordering a
drink. CUT BACK to Tyler. He sits down again.
TYLER (CONT'D)
(to self)
On the other hand. There are many
merits to me sitting here.
(beat, as Tyler looks
around the table)
No drinks, though. Okay, what is my
problem? She's just a girl.
Tyler stands up and heads to the bar. As he walks away:
TYLER (CONT'D)
Just a girl.
CUT TO:
INT. COMMAND CENTRAL - NIGHT
Frank and Lon are engaged with the computers, typing things
and checking things on clipboards.
FRANK
Is everything calibrated?
LON
I believe so.
They work in silence for a few moments.
FRANK
You got the numbers from last year?
LON
Here.
Without turning around, Lon hands Frank a piece of paper.
Frank compares the text on the page with something on his
clipboard, nods, and writes something down.
FRANK
Hmmm. Random portal formation are
up forty percent since last year.
The sphere's becoming less reliable
at predicting them.
LON
I've only been telling you that for
the last two months.
There is a beat as the men look at the paper work.
FRANK
You upset they didn't ask us to go
out with them?
Lon finally turns around.
LON
God, yes.
Frank crosses the room to stand close to Lon, crossing his
arms.
FRANK
It's been bugging me too.
LON
Do they think we're no fun?
FRANK
That's what I can't figure out.
We're fun.
LON
Loads of fun.
FRANK
We can do... fun... um, young
person type things.
LON
I am a young person.
Frank gives Lon a look.
FRANK
Okay.
LON
(indignant)
I am!
FRANK
(throwing his arms up)
Yeah! I know!
LON
(more calm)
Good.
FRANK
Right.
They turn back to their work.
CUT TO:
INT. MIKE'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
We slowly PAN ACROSS the room until we land on the sketch
paper. CLOSE ON the paper: The demon Mike drew is gone.
CUT TO:
INT. ROUNDHOUSE CLUB - CONTINUOUS
Tyler approaches the bar, sitting down beside Callie.
TYLER
Hey.
CALLIE
(a beat as she looks Tyler
up and down)
Hey, Speedy.
Tyler gives her a questioning look.
CALLIE (CONT'D)
Speedy. Speed Racer. Remember our
cafeteria crash?
Tyler nods, smiling lightly.
TYLER
Right.
He raises his hand to get the bartender's attention-he is
ignored.
TYLER (CONT'D)
Yeah, that's just...
(to Callie)
How's it going tonight?
Callie raises an eyebrow bemusedly.
CALLIE
Good. You?
TYLER
Oh, you know. Good. Doin', uh,
doin' fine.
Callie nods and turns back to her drink.
TYLER (CONT'D)
(desperate)
Uh, uh, so...
Tyler begins to play with a bowl of peanuts on the bar as
Callie turns back to face him.
TYLER (CONT'D)
So... have you been watching
Fringe? That's a...a good show.
CALLIE
I don't really watch FOX anymore.
After Firefly.
She turns away. Tyler throws a peanut back into the bowl.
TYLER
(muttering)
Yeah, that's... fantastic.
Tyler gets up and walks away. Callie turns back around to
find Tyler gone. She frowns lightly as we:
CUT TO:
INT. COMMAND CENTRAL - LATER
Frank and Lon are still working.
Lon tosses his clipboard to the ground.
LON
My God.
Frank turns around quickly.
FRANK
(urgent)
What? What?!
LON
(beat)
This is the most boring thing ever.
Frank sighs.
FRANK
I thought something was happening.
LON
Nothing's happening, that's the
problem.
Shaking his head, Frank goes back to work. A moment later,
there's a CRASHING upstairs. Frank and Lon turn to each
other.
FRANK
What was--
LON
Don't know. Think we should--
FRANK
Yes I do.
The two of them head out.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S DINER - CONTINUOUS
Frank and Lon emerge from the kitchen, looking around.
LON
(whispering)
You know what?
FRANK
(also whispering)
What?
LON
Do you know what we forgot to get?
FRANK
What?
LON
Just in case there is something out
here?
FRANK
What?
LON
We don't have any weapons.
FRANK
(considers this)
You're right.
LON
I usually am.
FRANK
So we should grab some.
Lon nods. The two men edge over to the wall, where they grab
a pot and pan each and keep searching the building.
FRANK (CONT'D)
I don't see anything.
LON
Maybe it was a car down the street.
There's another CRASH from behind them. They both turn
around.
Behind them is the DEMON FROM MIKE'S DRAWING, now in living
color. Its tongue is hanging out of its mouth, its arms are
so long that its sword is dragging on the ground.
CUT BACK to Lon and Frank, now cowering. Lon drops his pot.
The Demon HOWLS.
CUT TO:
INT. ROUNDHOUSE - CONTINUOUS
As the THUMPING MUSIC continues to play, we PAN ACROSS the
crowd to see Mike and Vi, each dancing with a HOT GUY.
Several feet away, Tamsin is dancing provocatively with two
RANDOM GUYS. As the camera continues to SWEEP ACROSS the
crowd, it lands on Tyler, sitting at the table by himself,
head hung over the back of his chair.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S DINER - CONTINUOUS
It's seconds later. The Demon HOWLS again, raises its sword,
and brings it down at the men. Lon and Frank dive apart, and
the sword hits the floor.
From the floor, Frank chucks his pan at the demon with all
his might. It bounces off its chest. The demon looks at Frank
and GROWLS.
FRANK
I think I might have just pissed it
off.
LON
Yeah.
Lon and Frank stand up and regroup. The demon begins to
slowly advance on them.
FRANK
Okay. Now what we're going to do...
LON
Yes?
FRANK
What we're going to do is back up,
into a place where we can get a
better shot at this.
LON
Yeah.
FRANK
And also a place where there are
swords.
LON
Good.
The demon begins to charge full-speed at Frank and Lon.
CUT TO:
INT. ROUNDHOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
At the table, Tyler has now arranged himself so that his feet
are propped up on a chair and he's laying out in the club,
clearly in despair. Mike dances his way over to the table and
knocks Tyler's feet out of the second chair, taking it for
himself.
MIKE
What's up?
TYLER
Nothing's up.
MIKE
Oh, come on. How long have I known
you?
TYLER
Forever.
MIKE
And I don't know when something's
wrong with you?
TYLER
Just forget about it.
MIKE
Well, we both know that's never
going to happen.
TYLER
Okay, God. Look.
(pointing to Callie)
See her?
MIKE
Yeah. Oh! Is that the girl?
TYLER
That is the girl.
MIKE
Oh.
(beat)
She's pretty.
(beat)
In a "Geek slash Shirley Manson"
kind of way.
Tyler shakes his head in disbelief.
TYLER
We are so far from where I want us
to be.
MIKE
Me and you? That's sweet, but
you're not my type.
(Mike pats Tyler on the
stomach)
Too chunky.
Tyler smacks Mike's hand away and stops slouching.
TYLER
There are days when I just hate
you.
Mike nods.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Frank's living room is decorated simply, with an armchair in
front of a small television and a couch against another wall.
A coffee table is between the chair and the television. Frank
and Lon enter the room, the demon shortly following. It is
still HOWLING.
Lon takes a look around the room.
LON
I've always liked your apartment.
FRANK
Thank you.
Frank grabs a flower pot off a small stand and throws it at
the demon-- it shatters.
LON
I mean, a little simple, but I
understand, you're a man on a
budget.
FRANK
It's specifically minimalist. Not
everyone gets that right away.
Lon runs forward and hits the demon with his pan. Another
CLANG. Then he holds up the pan. The pan is bent. Lon tosses
it over his shoulder and retreats around the coffee table to
join Frank again.
FRANK (CONT'D)
Quick, grab those cushions.
Frank and Lon grab couch cushions and start throwing them at
the demon. It swats one aside with its powerful forearm and
lets the other two hit it in the chest. It doesn't seem
bothered. With a quick stabbing motion it sends its sword
straight at Lon's chest. He SQUEALS and flips backwards over
the couch.
From BEHIND THE COUCH, we see Lon ducking down and the
demon's sword TEARING through the back of the couch, stopping
just before it gets to Lon's head. Lon rolls away and jumps
back over the couch, pressing his back to the far wall. Frank
kicks the coffee table into the demon's legs, tripping it up
momentarily.
Frank runs to Lon and the men quickly reassume defensive
positions as the demon ROARS. The demon RIPS its sword out of
the couch and brings it down on the armchair, the cushion of
which splits in half and spills padding everywhere.
FRANK (CONT'D)
(whining)
I sat in that chair.
The demon advances on them slowly.
LON
Now is not the time!
FRANK
I had sex in that chair once or
twice, actually.
LON
There are things that I do not need
to know.
The demon thrusts its sword into the wall between Lon and
Frank.
CUT TO:
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